he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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