Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
