I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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