New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
