she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
