Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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