"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
