Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
