He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
