Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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