I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
