U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
organizing the empties. That sober.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
