They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
