Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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