Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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