Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
my liver is dry heaving
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
