Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
