remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
