I CAN MOONWALK!
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
