I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
