Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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