I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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