Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
