I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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