At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
