is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
