Walk of Shame. In a state park.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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