i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
