6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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