If i come over, it means nothing
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I am puke
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
