i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
