Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
