i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
