that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
