I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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