Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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