Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
