Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
