omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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