Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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