well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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