Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
