Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
