Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
