Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
