A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
