I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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