Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
