meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just had sex on a roof
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
