how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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