I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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