Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
