I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
