vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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